My middle name is Slaughter. My university's mascot is a Spartan. I eat dirt for breakfast and lunch, only to be followed up with blood and the hearts of small animals for dinner.
I just moved to Sebastian, FL, and was recommended Adventure Racing (because the shirts are sooo cute). In order to get a tshirt, I've got to do the race. And I don't want to do it alone.
I'm looking for someone to compete with. Someone to join my team, or a team for me to join.
Here's what I bring to the table:
* A merit badge in Orienteering, circa 1998
* Solid paddling arms (which moonlight as keg-stand arms)
* The bike maneuvering skills of a wombat
* The ability to defend you, and your honor, from vicious predators with walking staffs and my karate-chopping hands
If you've got room in your team, or want to join Team XXXXXX-Slaughter, I am actively seeking partners.
Please fill out the following Mad Lib to apply.
Yes, Casey, I'd love to join you on this incredible ________ (synonym for 'race'), just for the sake of ________ (exciting prize). Using my ________ (something you don't actually have), I will help our ________ (sexy adjective) team to an ________ (buzzword) victory. You can call me ________ (warrior name).
Yes, Casey, I'd love to join you on this incredible odyssey (synonym for 'race'), just for the sake of _glory_______ (exciting prize). Using my _black magic_______ (something you don't actually have), I will help our __SEAL______ ( adjective) team to an ___fist pumping_____ (buzzword) victory. You can call me __Lex______ (warrior name).
Nooooo! I thought it was a futile attempt to find a partner. I've made plans for a work conference Wed-Sun this week. I can't make it!
OTHER RACERS - Lex is obviously GOOD PEOPLE. Bring him on your team!
PANGEA ADVENTURE RACING
Pangea Adventure Racing is the #1 producer of adventure races in Florida. We’re not just about high quality races, we’re about adventure—like navigating historic coastal waterways to cycling through the mud to ziplining across the treetops in the moonlight. We offer an easy crossover for mountain bikers, cyclists, runners, hikers, triathletes, water sport enthusiasts and even gym-goers looking for a little outdoor adventure.
Special thanks to TravelCountry.com for their continued support. They stock all the popular adventure racing brands including The North Face and Vibram Fivefingers.